Whatever Happened to 'Live Your Dream'?

After being ridiculously judgmental and nosy what does this nation do best? We love to talk about our ambition in life. And continue sharing THE DREAM for years later. Till every stranger at the bus-stop finish your sentence word-perfect. Soon this desire becomes a boomerang. That returns to hit us right in the face.

It keeps knocking you down, Life ain't fair huh?

There are three types of dreamers that you’d meet:

1. Mr. Cinderella
2. Mr. Last resort
3. Mr. Forgotten 

Mr. Cinderella _ “I will be...” This is the person who has areas of improvements and much to learn. Also they have the ability and capacity to reach there. They are appreciated for their talents. And everyone around them sees a star in them. However this person is passive. Why? They are waiting on their fairy godmother!

Mr. Last resort _ “Someday when I have enough time…” I don’t think so, when life is smooth and paychecks come easy it becomes harder to sacrifice. The enough time that you might get, will be spent on more quick cash. Not greedy for any sane mind would do so, the difference is dreamers don’t have a sane mind. They know passion and dreams don’t pay you instantly. It takes great deal of you to return grander rewards.

Mr. Forgotten _ “I used to be…” I have met a lost poet, a squash player, a writer, an artist, a musician who used to be in a band, and many other dreamers that I can’t recall. All gave up for seemingly legit reasons. No criticism there except for one thing. I've only seen them happy when they’d talk of what they used to be.

Life without desires is only a collar on your neck with the leash in the hands of people you love. Living without a reason and vision is worse than the life of a rock. Isn't 2015 enough to make you see years pass by like seconds? Get a grip before life slips right through! Living your dream is not a 9 to 5 pace, it’s a 24/7 of what you love and enjoy…

Frankly, Just Say NO!

((Brrring Brrring)) Phone Rings

[After a long tiresome debate to justify watching cricket is not a waste of time.]

Friend: Skype?

Me: No, I've work to do.

Friend: What work?

Me: (Me taking way too long to come up with an excuse, as usual)

 Friend: I’m all alone, I can’t count on anyone.

Me: Count on ALLAH alone, don’t depend on people for happiness.

Friend: I don’t, but even Adam A.S was sent HAWA R.A when he was alone.

Me: Yes… just like you have a HUSBAND!

Friend: Well he leaves for office! And I’m alone again!

Me: [Facepalm]

Friend: So are you coming?

Me: Fine! Only 15 minutes. 

She dragged me into it again today. Frustrating when you've never been a people pleaser and are extremely honest. However it’s hard to block too many emotional bullets on daily basis. Still we all play courage the cowardly dog once in a while: ‘Things I do for love.’

Lesson learned is to never get caught in a debate. It’s certainly a DEAD END! Should have just said, ‘No I can’t, over and out’. Any other way leads to a gazillion expectations.

We should realize an act of kindness is never initiated by fear or guilt. Stop being guilty you don’t owe anyone anything in order to be kind to them. You don’t owe an explanation to anyone either. Sometimes it’s our relaxation time in the entire day but the manipulator does NOT care. Remember if you don’t treat yourself right, no one will. When you don’t want it, simply walk away without guilt.

You can never reach your potential if you keep letting everyone control you. We cannot please everyone nor were we created to do so. When a friend wants your time (or money) but you can’t afford it, be honest, fearless, guiltless and straightforward. And if as a result this friend abandons you, consider it a favor you did yourself. Friendship ends the day it starts to appear as an infinite bank loan.

There’s a fine line between kindness and enslavement. This is something we all get blind to. People pleasers lose the entire game. Our religion doesn't teach us to be dumb and blind but to be WISE and insightful. Break this exhausting cycle and set yourself free from any enslavement of the ungrateful creation. 
Friend:Hello?
Me: NO! (Hang up...)

Is your Confidence Level: HIGH!!!?

In an encounter with two college dropouts I found the main thing they lacked was self-confidence. They were brightest intellects who had stopped believing. Let’s retrieve our lost faith by understanding the cause and effect.

Past failures of life can make the present task appear daunting. Haven’t we seen many geniuses giving up their entire life’s work after failing just once? They keep lying there in dirt on every fall, and then complain for being treated like dirt. You wouldn’t want that, right? So here’s the deal, Extract the lesson from past failures and the delete the torment.

Keep away from over confidence. It happens when you set your expectations way above your potential. It’s good to be optimistic but your goal should always be realistic and achievable. Once you get to the next level then set higher goals. Baby steps ensure to get you there faster than a blind long jump.

Critics, the worse ones are always your own family. Even if you become a specialist your family will always see you as an amateur. You don’t need anyone’s approval or appreciation. Stand by your side when everyone else walks away. 

Fears will always be there, pay less attention to them. Concentrate on the things that reduce your fears of failing. Also change the direction of fears to help you achieve goals. Instead of fearing to let everyone down, try to fear the consequences of losing faith in you.

Doubts are your internal critics. These are definitely most difficult type of critics to avoid. Remedy is a constant reminder of the moments in life you achieved your desires. Display all the awards, titles or certificates in a place where you can see them on daily bases. This serves as a high impact slap on the face of the little voice in you.

Negativity that drains you (or would try to) is called haters. These are the people who hate everyone who set an example of endless possibilities.  They are daredevil who would go far off limits to destroy you in any way they can. You don’t need to worry for the ONE who created you gave you a remedy for it. I.e. ignore them and ask your Maker for protection.

Failure may seem a result of the external uncontrollable factors but it start from the inside. The inside critic you could have controlled. On every failure don’t we feel there was more than enough chance for our success? It’s simple; people who succeeded in this world were only the people who defeated their own demons. Simple conclusion calls for a simple question: Do you really struggle to beat the worst critic inside you? 

Stay Happy: To Survive a Rough Day!

A beautiful day in Karachi with warm sunshine and endless cool winds since past three days. Words of wisdom for people with sinus allergies: A handkerchief. On the contrary if someone had a bad day at work, home, or just by soulful discussion resentment over CWC 2015 with friends. Here are certain ways to survive a rough day.

#1

When you know the problem but you can’t fix it. Try to accept things as they are and move on. First important step is to avoid the pity party or self pity. They both serve as rubbing salt in the wounds. Just walk away while they talk to you, or literally run if you have to. It will be worth it.  

#2

Secondly find comfort in your own company. The most important thing you need in times like these is to make peace with oneself. You should always be the first person to forgive yourself. Never look for flaws in yourself or others under any circumstances. Weaknesses can be improved but imperfection makes you stand out and shine.

#3

Watch on the desperate need to let it all out. Don’t go out telling it to everyone you meet. For drama is the least thing you are looking for today. You never know what kind of day the other person had. Hold it in a little longer you’d find a better exist for this frustration.

#4

Avoid sitting idle in the place where it all started. As it might encourage irrational decisions and spread negative energy. Leave that place as fast as you can. Change the entire scene around you. Go to your favorite peaceful spot. Here is where you’d convert this negative energy to create a positive thing that benefits everyone.

#5

An act of kindness can not only make your day, it can positivity change your life forever. Bad day is the best day to be generous and give out charity. Even if charity is a tiny good deed you can afford to do. A little effort to: feed birds, a Salam to stranger or just a smile to a fellow. Enjoy the day to realize Sami Yusuf is right: Your healing starts the moment you start to heal others.

Being Pakistani: Cricket is NOT a sport!

Marketers working fierce like hungry spiders constructing webs around the dazzled butterflies. The CEOs bath in the gold coins that shower upon them. Every promotional method from the most reputed businesses to the “Chai ka Dhaba” wears the same BOOM BOOM brand ambassadors. People post status and tweets twice in every 30 seconds. Random photos of baffled 5year olds in green uniform on facebook timeline. Now the streaming noisy tournament on T.V controls your family’s highly volatile mood swings. In short Happy Cricket season!

In our part of the world Cricket is identity. You have to be crazy about cricket to be one of us. That comes from profound study and experience i.e. a tested theory. The day I confirmed IT’s JUST A GAME in the middle of a bubbly communication with my family. Suddenly there fell a long extremely uncomfortable silence. Everyone stopped and stared at me as if I’m that unwanted mushroom accidentally found in your pizza topping.

However there is always one annoying person who pretends to like football more. Yet this person would know every single detail of the match last night. Another green guy who always cheers for the opponent team but secretly wishes Pakistan’s victory. It’s obvious cause this guy sits next to you in every celebration. Then there is that one obnoxious girl who is crazy about the players not the sport. Throughout the year she posts pictures with corny captions expressing her love shamelessly. Everyone ‘Likes’ for disclosing a crush on green players is one of the crazy norms accepted and appreciated in Pakistan. Now you see how desperately we need a button on facebook that says HARAM!

These are the green shades we all cherish but there is more to it. This fondness converts into an obsession, uncontrollable influence and then depression. The impact is so grave that it literally messes with everyday life. When we win the match every stranger from the bus to the street is cheerful. The day we are defeated the whole nation is soaked in anger, rage and depression.  Sadly this wrath penetrates through homes, social media and beyond. Don’t you agree this youth is already facing enough negativity on every sunrise? It used to be a sport meant to distract worries and entertain you. Not an excuse to be mean to your family and friends.

This year try not to break that T.V remote. It’s not their fault so treat your family in the best manner. Pay attention to that youngest kid in the family, they have truck loads  of funny stories to share.  It is a game and the whole idea is to keep you away from negative effects or activities.  

Now let’s teach that fan girl who posts inappropriate stuff about Ajmal and Afridi to show respect.  Or do it the fun way, just write ‘It’s haraM’ on her wall and disappear. Tell me if you have better ideas in the comments below. Stay Pakistani and stay positive!

Brightside: Not Friends with the Monsters!

We often encounter dramatic negative discussions that lead to intense and instant depression without warning. Sometimes these people are only elaborating the facts and few minutes later it becomes the awful tragic climax of a violent movie. 

No one remembers what the problem was, why actually they are complaining, and associating every calamity to one person alone. It starts with ground realities of a random problem and ends on blames, stress, helplessness, and sometimes tears. Not to forget a terrible waste of time and energy.

When times are hard each member of the family can feel the entire burden of the house on their individual shoulders. These circumstances can be highly devastating if no one in the family is playing Mr. or Miss Brightside during the discussion.

It’s pretty much like an overrated marketing research example of a store where energetic songs helped the customer to make decision and purchase faster. Whereas when slow songs were played the customers stayed in the store longer.

Mr. Brightside is the one who reminds them of the wishes and dreams that did come true. Ironically hearts are not at all complicated as we perceive them to be. Whatever surrounding you expose yourself to; your heart, mood and performance will follow. Therefore pull your family out of the dark ditch and bring them to the light. Show them how their prayers are being heard and answered. Make them realize how every one of us eventually get what we want; there is no need to be impatient. Always provide examples from their own lives that stand tall like landmarks against any ungrateful actions. Only recalling one fulfilled need is enough to doubt every depressing thought. 

(Now that stupid International Company should regret not giving me the marketing job only because I confused promotional mix for marketing mix. Miss Brightside, right?)

Anyway since we are all just human there might come a day when you can’t beat the enormous bombardment of negative comments and complains. When you can't handle it, DO NOT JUMP IN! Just make an excuse and leave that place. Go outside for fresh air, a walk, a long drive or just go to spend time with your pets. However your family might think you are weak, coward, and a weirdo running away from facts. Honestly walking away in the middle of an unstoppable fierce firing does feel a little awkward but once the surrounding changes you’d be greatly satisfied by your wise decision.

At least one person of the family needs to be saved from the bite of coldblooded negativity Vampires. Let’s hope we are the UNBITTEN last piece left that can go back and make the POSITIVE change. Stay blessed!

Solutions: Losing Track of EVERYTHING!

There comes a time in our life, when we will start to lose track of everything. Everyday activities now become unnecessary burden and your passion starts to feel like the voluntary chores. Attention span is shortened to the extent that it alarms you. The mind would start to zone-out beyond the definition of normal.

The people you go to discuss this problem might me more lost than you are. Which is a good thing for you are not alone, and you have someone who understands. You are not the only one with distrust, stabs in the back, sorrows, guilt, and GOD knows what behind those walls. Now the reason behind panic is not how to get out of here, it is what is wrong? Sometimes we know the solution but problem is too vague that it makes you doubt every move.

It is not depression. It is exhaustion, we try, we fail, and we get up and move on. As this cycle repeats we start to believe we are getting stronger. It won’t always work that way, people don’t function in the same way always. And that’s the beauty of it. One day you would just want this same old routine to stop but you can’t. This would add to the frustration and make you drag yourself to the daily activities. Wake up, make breakfast, and go to work, realizing the vicious cycle has no escape. Now since subconsciously a part of you do not want to do it, hence you would start to lose track of everything.  However you might not see through it. See we just identified the problem which is a huge success so a high five to that!

Solutions:

First things first, start with taking a break to reflect. If you identify what you are missing, go get it! Sometimes what we are actually missing could be a spiritual push to get us back on track. The point is to understand what massive problems the best of human kind “The Prophets” went through and still never gave up. It really helps you perceive how small your problems are and why to not give up hope. You know what a Believer can do best? Believe!

Secondly sometimes you know what you are missing. You are praying, hoping, helping people and doing good things a believer must do. And you are still missing it. Now don’t jump to the conclusions like how you might have gone astray or are being punished. It’s OK to get tired. Only it does NOT mean you are losing hope. Doubts, second thoughts, fears, exhaustion they are all the characteristics of being a human. Start taking heavy dose of everything that is positive around you. Even if it means to hang-out with a 5 years old neighbor. By the way kids are the best company you can get at times like these. They keep your mind of unnecessary worries, for they ALWAYS want your complete attention! Forget meditation to improve concentration, spend some time with kids.

Pretending makes it only worse, admit and accept things just as they are. We will work on the “GET UP and dust off the dirt” later. For now let’s just celebrate being excessively sick and tired souls taking a break.