Motivation: The Letter

The girl walked to her room and opened a cupboard. With trembling hands she pulled out an envelope. Slowly she flipped it and saw her name written at the back. Carefully she unfolds the piece of paper she found inside.

Leaving the cupboard open she falls right there on the floor, holding tight on the letter. She starts to read…

Hi Nida,

How are you, Sweetheart? Since you are reading this letter, I don’t expect you to be okay. Oh that’s an understatement. You are probably drowning in the pound of your own tears. Alright that didn’t help much…. err just saying you did the right thing. Tell me you are smiling right now and I’m already half way there. Some persuader, huh?

The truth is you don’t have to tell me anything. I know you and you can go ahead and cry, shout, scream your lungs out. Do whatever it takes to keep you moving forward. I know sometimes it NOT easy to follow the ‘DON’T GIVE UP’ signs. Especially at times like these when you literally see your haters burn it all down to ashes. And you can’t do anything about it because all the damage is done indirectly. Leaves you confused and frustrated. If you ask me, Love, it’s not just external attacks but the internal fears, doubts and stress too. One can only break you down when the attacks are from all directions including the CORE.

All you need to know is its okay to press the PAUSE button some times. I have seen you fail, I’ve seen you breakdown and give up. But my dear girl, I have also seen you WIN, conquer and survive! I’ve seen the undying faith in you that kept you striving like a mad person who is blind to threats and distractions.

The faith that kept you going for years now, don’t let it fade away. You can’t quit when you are this close to your dream. Don’t let them win by losing the final battle to your own fears. Whatever lies inside of you, are the things you have complete control on. Get to work and mend your soul. Repair unlimited amount of faith you have always held in you. Never let something so soothing run short on space by negative burdens. Here’s the key: Keep the malicious of the foreign subsidiaries away from the headquarters, i.e. your Heart.

P.S: I will be waiting to see you there.

Love

Nida

Stop Messing Up Your Kids

When I was 6 years old my mum and aunt told me if I pray for a brother I’ll be blessed with one. They made it an after school ritual for me. After ‘Salam’ and throwing my bag away, next came praying and crying to for a baby brother. 

Few weeks later I came home and there was GOOD NEWS! They told me now I have a baby brother! We excitedly went to the place where angels distribute babies. To my disappointment it turns out that my baby brother is my aunt’s new born. Before I could question anything, they told me, “He is your brother, it’s just angels accidentally gave him to your aunt.”

It might have made me happy at that age, but with time this lie started to mess things up for me. I mean for more than half of my life I believed with conviction that angels made a mistake! Not only that, to defend this lie I would fight with his siblings. Besides I was the one who asked ALLAH for him in the first place!

I would go check on him in kindergarten every day. The entire school believed Zafar is my brother and Zaib’s cousin, when it was the opposite. All of my time was spent with my little brother every single day of his childhood. In return naturally the kid started to stick with me, his Aapa, more than with anybody else. 

Nothing mattered until my aunt had to move out of town. What if it happened during my childhood? Wouldn’t the outcomes have been worse?

We don’t realize how the aftereffects of one stupid lies could be crippling and devastating. A part of your child would always stay stuck in it, disturbing their ability to deal with facts.

Parents and adults see lies as an easy way out. Anything that is not true may block pain for a short-period but that short-period would keep distorting the reality forever. This damage is continuous and it could be avoided if you care to explain things. When kids start to demand reasons they are at the age to learn to deal with truth and realities of life.

Parents are mostly the first people a kid trust wholeheartedly, don’t sabotage this beautiful faith they hold in you.

2016: New Year's Resolutions!!!

I was winding up work when I heard random happy people sharing their new year’s resolutions on TV. Few minutes later I saw long awkward posts of my friends on social media on the same topic. Everybody was mainly bragging about how previous year have made them “wiser”. Though it felt like Déjà vu. They’d probably make the same mistakes this New Year, only they made it public. How WISE is that?

To be honest I never thought 2016 would come so soon. I mean 2015 already felt so brand new whereas SIXTEEN felt so far away. It’s amazing as well as frightening to see how a year passes by like a day or even faster than that! For me this year went by fast, so fast that I am still dizzy. Still it’s always nice to see people happy however I don’t see a point in celebration. Why do people want to rejoice all the time they’ve lost? Don’t these NEW numbers make them feel old?

Oh well, we generally pursue dumb reasons to party.  And it’s about time I stop being a party pooper and be grateful. Grateful, as we are given another chance to achieve. Another shot to conquer dreams that got lost in the mist of needs for survival last year. New Year comes with new plans, new goals and of course with a bag full of lessons learned. Even if these plans seem like jokes and these lessons are only unwanted baggage. They still come with a burning hope.

It doesn’t matter how crazy your new year’s resolution maybe. If it’s a perfect body, healthy lifestyle, promotion, getting a degree, getting over an addiction, achieving your weird yet awesome dream. Even if you hardly stand a 5% chance, hold on to it and keep going. As the days unfold you will see sometimes that 5% is all you need.

“Ya ALLAH, may we be steadfast with our New Year’s Resolutions, Ameen”

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Me Studying for Comprehensive Exam

I miss him so much.

You were talking to him 5 seconds ago, now it’s time to study.

Wait why do I have to study?

Cause you have your MBA Comprehensive Exam tomorrow.

Weird name for an exam but why do I have to pass it again?

Arrghh!! To get your MBA degree!

Aah right. Alright study first text later.

Good idea, let’s start from your favorite subject, History of ideas?

Nice, let’s start from Plato. I enjoyed that class discussion but what was that crazy Cave story? Caves remind me of bats. Haroon really likes Batman. I think I should buy him a batman mug. Would he think I am crazy if I send him too many mugs?

Focus! Besides that Cave story made sense!

Yeah, it did. Cave = Batman = Haroon. I wonder what he is doing right now. Like if he is thinking about me? I should text him to find if he misses me. We haven’t talked for like… ten minutes; he must be worried about me by now.

Hey! You have to study to pass this exam! Do you want to fail this test? How would Haroon feel about it?

Yeah you are right. I must pass this exam. I want him to be proud of me just like I am so very proud of him. He is just a gentleman. I like how he is so decent. Sometimes I wonder if our love is too platonic. Is that bad?

Fine, forget Plato. Let’s start from I.T.

Did you know Haroon knows computers a lot better than me? I mean isn’t that amazing? I’ll ask him to teach me this alien device because I use to get the best sleep of my life in I.T class.

How about starting from Human Resource Management?

I think Haroon would make a really good HR manager. You know why? Cause he is so nice to people. He understands them so well. He must be a mind reader. A friendly one though.

Do you know what a 360 degree Feedback is?

No, but it sounds pretty sexy if Haroon is the HR manager.

*Sigh* Go text him. We will study later…

Yay!!

When you have a Desi Mom...

Whatever they show on social media is an exaggerated version of our Desi Moms. I mean Desi mothers are very friendly and they treat you like a friend. Although it comes with a Warning: This friendship is one way. Their way!

Desi Moms are funny, and I mean it. They’d tease you, irritate you, have fun with you taunting about your personal life. They create lifelong family jokes that would fit in a perfect and hilarious way to our daily routines. Life at home would never be boring if you have a Desi Mom. However, if you try to act like a friend in return, be ready to face the consequences. When you playfully taunt your Mom, it becomes a battle field where you are already defeated. Ammi would pause, look me in the eyes and say in a weird mixed emotional yet stern voice, “Is this the way you talk to your mother?” And I stand there wondering what just happened…

It gets even better when it comes to everyday tasks like Cooking:

When you are cooking a dish for the 100^th time in the same week, she’d call you while you are cooking and give you comprehensive instructions like “Beta potatoes should be tender though not mashed and salt should be perfect to taste”.

Where in your head you want to scream: They are just damned potatoes FOR GOD SAKE!!!

 And the day you are cooking a complex party dish you’ve never made in your life. For instance Matanjan, a Desi Mom becomes absolutely MUTE. One day I slowly walked to her and asked for just one instruction and here it goes again.

Ammi cried, “Ya ALLAH, when would she learn to cook! What would you do after marriage? Who would you call too cook for your husband? Your neighbors?!”

After half an hour long scoffing you’d manage to get the recipe. So thumbs up!

While making Palao for my guests, I just needed one quick reminder.

 I stated my query shortly, “Ammi, Palao is exactly like Biryani except you add rice directly to the curry, instead of boiling?”  

Taken aback Ammi exclaimed, “HawwWw! NO! How many times do I have to tell you?! For Palao you’d need *explains the entire recipe of Biryani* then you add rice to this curry!”

After this 20 minutes long wonderful help, I quietly walk back to the kitchen. *facepalm*

No matter how melodramatic, over thinkers and better detectives than Sherlock Holmes they are. Their warmest love still makes them the best Moms in the world!

We love you, Ammi!

Random Poem

Few months back I came across a few poems on facebook. They were fun to read until I read that one random poem with encouraging comments below. The more I read it the more it opened the darkness of the world and how they choke a good heart. I was alarmed to read the last two lines that made it utterly a Suicide Note! Funny this guy’s ridiculously-blind-friends cheer him on it. 

Don’t worry, he’s alright and pretty much busy writing more of such poems/suicide notes. Though it took me days, week, probably months to get that poem out of my head. I just couldn’t stop thinking how to respond to that in a positive way. For none of it could be denied, anxiety is real and lethal stuff to deal with. It not only kills the person or the hope but also scares away all the potential goodness coming your way.

Every good heart that has a living soul is more vulnerable to the attacks of negativity. Empathy is rare and beautiful thing. Even though it feels like more of a curse some days. It’s normal to have suicidal thoughts, it happens to the best of us. The only mistake we make is we forget how to respond to this natural cycle of life. Unfortunately it never occurs to us that there is no human life’s phase or feeling that we were not given an EXAMPLE for.

It all sums down to just one simple thought. Every beautiful soul endeavors for absolute peace. Thus those who recognize the safe place, wish to rise above and go back to where they came from. Suicide may appear a way out, but it would only get us permanently locked in this world.

So learn to deal with life and all of its shades in a way that you leave a good example behind.

Maybe writing those weird creepy notes sets a soul free.

Just Talk to Me...!

I’ve been staring at my cell phone for the past few minutes. I wonder how people are slick with words where I keep falling short. Ever experienced how easy it is to talk to a stranger instead of your friends and family? Why?

The worry of being judged comes in the way and messes up the entire idea of quality communication. We don’t need to over-think or customize our opinions while talking to unknown people. For instance, how we talked to a friend on the day we met compared to how we talk to them now. The honesty we tend to give to strangers doesn’t mean they won’t hold their own perception against us. Strangers we talk out our hearts to on a bus ride or airports also have their own ways of interpreting our problems. Only it doesn’t matter to both the parties.

This fear of expected repercussion increases in cases where friendship turns into a significant relation. We start to see how our friends would perceive our problems according to their past experiences. All we can do is try to keep ourselves from assuming the outcomes. When we start to conceal too much from friends and family, it backfires in forms of distrust, disrespect and distress. It gives out all sorts of wrong ideas, as if they are not valued enough. Little misunderstanding created by lack of healthy communication can disrupt your relation entirely. Healthy communication doesn’t mean it should be dispute-free but being able to have rational arguments to reach solutions. Conflict of ideas is a sign of intelligent members of a good team, also being able to get pass through them and striving together.  

Quality communication takes courage, effort and care. In short, a kiss with a fist is better than none. If you can’t take a fight to fix things between your friends and family then you don’t really care about the relationship either. Indifference and love can never co-exist. Unfortunately we don’t acknowledge the importance of good communication within the tribe. Rather we hold grudges, we stop talking and we avoid eye contacts and interactions. We calmly watch our magical bond burn down to ashes. However we are perfectly good at bragging about our fake relations over social media. So next time you meet your long lost friend, don’t hesitate to beat them up good, to show how badly they were missed.