Happy without the Undo Button?

I have seen people regret for a lifetime saying things like only if I had done that… or Only If I could go back … ending into enormous frustrations and helplessness. How pathetic is to look at a strong built man who is capable of achieving anything and everything in life, holding on to regrets of the past and breaks down in tears every single day. You watch this person destroying himself and everyone around him.

Mistakes small or big can be turned into long-term regrets for the rest of our lives. When people start believing they can go back to redo it all over again, just the thought of it can be so painful and frustrating. All their lives they try to go back in time and correct their mistakes. Although amazingly captivating thought but unachievable and disastrous obsession. The only Rule to hold on tight is; no matter how hard it is to swallow, there is NO GOING BACK! Relax I have a better solution. Read on to find out.

I will not tell you to stop thinking about your past.  Since it is impossible not to.  It is human nature you just can’t stop these dramatic ‘Flash backs’. They are constant unavoidable attacks. All you have to learn is to fight against them.

Let’s move on to the solution:

Step One: Mistake is your Teacher

First thing is to understand that you are less a product of what you learnt at school and more of what your mistakes have thought you. Consciously or unconsciously mistakes and their lessons would affect your perception and understanding of the worlds. Your ability to think is also influenced. The lessons you have learned from your mistakes might never be clear but even a vague picture of it would be enough to change your personality. For instance how you see the world today is completely different from how you saw it a few years back. Hence mistakes help us grow.

Step Two: Forgive Yourself

This is easily said but a little hard to achieve. It requires your complete dedication and perseverance. First you have to understand what it actually means. Forgiving oneself would mean to forget you regrets. Remember only the lesson learnt but forget the pain and regrets that came along.  Start focusing on the bright side of your past. Yes there is always a bright side; your past had one too. Keep holding on to pleasant moments such as watching your dreams come true. Focus on all past accomplishments and achievements of life.  

Sometimes we fear to let go of our past because it seems it might kill a part of us. Since we are so well weaved into the past memories that letting them go appears unendurable. On the contrary no matter how real they may feel, at the end of the day they are just memories. Holding on the regrets of past means wasting your present; eventually leading to more regrets in future. Learn to break this cycle; and remember no one else can do it for you.

Present is what matters and present is beautiful. By holding on your past you are not only punishing yourselves but everyone around you. Your loved ones don’t deserve it. Most importantly you don’t deserve it.

The only essential person whose forgiveness you are seeking is you yourself. Let today be the day in the book of your life when you forgive yourself. Guaranteed it would instantly make you feel lighter, happier and incredibly amazing.

Step Three: Celebrate!

Life is a collection of great achievements, rewards and successes. You are the winner here only if you’d believe. Life is rejoicing love of your loved ones and loving them back. You are the sunshine, the warmth, the reason for their smiles. Therefore your happiness, smiles and shine is what they deserve, and so is what you deserve. Life is beautiful, short and precious. Celebrate every second of it while you can. 

My Superhero

It’s the story of the hard times of my life and how I made it through. It all started in 2008 when my sister got married and flew to a far away city. After she left, my brother found a job out of city and so he too moved to another place. You might me thinking is that bad? No that was just the beginning; it was the year of people leaving me for some reason or other. Just when I actually started to enjoy having no siblings bossing around for cleaning my room, and doing no chores; my best friend left me. His sister who was my best childhood friend never came by since then.

That’s not all,  while I was too busy fixing things and dealing with this trauma I missed the last date of admissions in the university, which meant I would have to wait for another 12 months. This only added to my grief, I had nothing to do. I was the biggest loser on this planet, watching my friends getting too busy in their perfect lives that they hardly had time to text me back. While I sit there in my room with pathetic present, no career, nowhere to go and no one to talk to about the hell I was going through…

For some reason this depression grew so huge that I gave up my fun filled creative hobbies. I couldn’t draw or paint or write, couldn’t eat right or get any sleep at all. Loneliness is a worst nightmare.

Among all this craziness around me, my sister’s friend came by one day and told me she found a poor kitten and doesn’t have any place to keep it. I agreed on taking care of the kitten as I had nothing else to do back those days. The kitten was cute as they always are. It was white and brown I wanted to name him but I found he already bears a strange name, Timmy. To make him feel homely I called him by the same name.

Timmy changed everything starting from my wakeup timings. I would wake up early morning at 7 am for Timmy was a morning cat. After breakfast he used to play a lot. He was so energetic and playful kitten I have ever seen. So we became friends, I knew his language he knew I needed his company. He would wear the soft neck bands I made, shake hands, and even dance for me, following me into the house and everywhere. Not just that sweet feeling of his company but all those fun activities that made me forget everything. Activities like giving Timmy a bath, this was my favorite although my mom and Timmy hated it.

After a warm bath I would pick him up in both hands and hug my little kitty. Then lay him in his cute basket bed that I made. I remember how he loved drying in the sun; he would cuddle up like a ball in the bed. While I play the caring mother just sitting there watching him fall asleep.

Besides that basket bed Timmy discovered anther bed, a cooking pan! I have no idea how... Timmy was fearless; he would enter through a window, walk past my father and run straight into the kitchen to jump into the empty pan. No rush even though he could sense my panicked father running after him into the kitchen. For me it was just plain fun running after a cute kitten all day long.

Strange how time flies when your days are filled with joy and happiness. Days turned into weeks and then months, when I look back I hardly remember it being more than a month. Somehow things at home started to get better. I wasn’t a loner anymore I had Timmy and fortunately my brother came back home.

Later that month I got admission in the university of my choice. The day I stepped into the university I met some amazing friends and great teachers; who are all there to support and appreciate me.

 Second great news was my brother was getting married and we had to fly to our native City for the wedding. There all other family members were desperately awaiting our arrival. On the other hand it sadly meant there would be no one here to look after Timmy.  So reluctantly I returned Timmy back, as suggested by my mother and told the caretaker to pass it on to someone who needs him more than I do now.

Timmy was not just a distraction for me but much more than that. Somehow that kitten was my reason to make through just another day. Making me stronger each day of that rough year. I started to become less stressed and more flexible with forgiving people. Now I could understand if my friends never had time to talk, I never had time to hold it against them. I got too busy taking care of the kitten, like giving Timmy a bath, or searching about kittens on internet. It gave me a new perception for life I never knew something as simple as a cat could make me feel so better when time was hard on me. I had someone special to be happy about when I had nothing at all. There is always something in life to hold on to, just keep that sweet thing close to you and you’ll make it through. 

Help me Paint...!

Today I got an urge to paint so excitedly I sat on the floor with my paints and canvas. Surprisingly I could not decide on what colors to pick. Usually the color is your picture depends on your feelings. The problem arises when you can’t decide what state of mind you are in right now.

I broke it down in parts to simplify my selection. It is not happy so we avoid all the bright happy colors but neither is it sad so forget about all the grays and dull colors. This feeling is something in between numbness and excitement. All feelings were laid down on the table but still very hard to put my finger on it.

The type of feeling you get when you find something you wanted so badly but you only found it when you don’t need it anymore. Making it too difficult to decide how you feel about it now.

Either to celebrate that you finally found what you’ve longed for all your life or to throw it away since you don’t need it anymore. It can’t get any worse so you just don’t care. You don’t care about this desperately yearned thing. You don’t even care about how you feel for it. All you feel is this strange type of numbness mixed with happiness and frustration in the same proportion. 

I sat there completely lost in thoughts for a while. Until all these colors started laughing at my helplessness. I slowly picked up my colors and sluggishly walked towards the table. Carelessly threw the canvas on the table and dropped all colors in the drawer. Then I shut the drawer and walked out of the room.