You Keep Running Away...

Today the dream seems so distant and lost in the abyss. The bubbly aggressive soul with the vision is now tired. You confront the unpleasant transfer of leadership to a forever mute servant. With a heart lacking wishes, desires or need. How it holds the burden of the largest graveyard on earth. Buried alive, suffocated or killed, you don’t care anymore. The fear is still worse than the shovel in your hands.

Seasons sink you in the dust of delusional fleeting happiness. Wounds turn to scars. Then again scars are only the wounds we eventually become used to.

One day that lost desire knocks on your door. You bang the door on its face. However the call won’t stop. They keep coming in all possible forms, vivid enough to make you pounder. Badly disrupts your comforting layers of calmness and leisure.

You figure it’s time to run, but unfortunately away from it. For you still see it as tiresome efforts down the drain. The sky-high depression GIANT still keeps you surrendered sign after sign. The war started long time ago. Sad fact, this time you stand tall, next to your fears... and against yourself.

The height is when you literally see your fear stand there with a smiling twisted handlebar mustache. And you lie on the railway track with a calm heart. The one person you always had the support of is nowhere to be seen. Wishes, hope, faith, grudges, all starts to fade with the increasing sound of the train.  
Midst all that craziness you’d find, life never cease to surprise the exhausted soul. That long forgotten tiny spark ignites an endless adrenaline rush. Numbness is there for your defense. Imagination is a gift you were made to control, stop using it in reverse. This rush is inevitable regardless of the constant denial.

Like that one rain in scorching heat is enough to turn around the entire season. Stop looking for it in others. For you are that First Summer Rains!