My Idea of Teamwork

Today we were given a role-play to display an effective teamwork in the class. This activity brought back my experience of leading a team. Here is my idea of teamwork…

My cousins Zaib, Zohaib and I were looking forward to see our cousin Nida after a very long time. All of us girls were in college while Zohaib was in primary school back then. This was my team. I call us a team because we were always on a mission.

I was the accepted leader without a question. I knew how to lead so they followed with respect. OK I exaggerated a little; they love me for my compelling ideas of adventure. There was no hierarchy in this team based on anything, and everyone could come up with better ideas.

When Nida arrived we planned a party at Zaib’s place. We stayed up all night watching movies and eating delicious pasta Zaib made. Then at dawn we went upstairs on the rooftop to watch the sun rise. Watching sunrise had become our ritual since childhood and we wanted Nida to experience it too. We would sit in the cool breeze, singing our favorite songs and view our beautiful town at its best.

They were singing the song Crush by David Archuleta when I got up to look around the place. Next to Zaib’s house I discovered a deserted school building.

 “Who would be in there at this hour?” I inquired.

“Probably the watchman and his wife” Zaib replied carelessly and continued showing off how she knew every single word of the song. However I got her attention when I paused and gave her THE SMILE.

 “Don’t even think about it” she said firmly.  

“Just come here and look, it’s hardly a step away” I uttered excitedly.

It looked so easy from up there but there are always two sides of every story. Unfortunately we could only see one side of it.

The roof of the school was almost 5 feet below Zaib’s house roof. And around the house’s roof there is 3 feet wall. So the plan was to step on the wall and jump in the school territory. Once inside the school the person would touch a class room and come back. And that was all.

“One person at a time, but if you hear anything the two staying up here would pull this person back. So who is going first?” these were the cautions carefully implemented by their SMART leader.

Zohaib being the restless little boy insisted but I had to refuse. “If you go down there we would not be able to reach you and you might get stuck there forever!” I cried making a scary face. Well half of it was true but he didn't buy it. So I quickly made up some crazy geometry laws to make him believe. And it worked.

One thing that I admire about my team is they have always trusted me no matter what. Even when they didn't understand my messed up ideas of adventures they would still follow me with great loyalty and respect.

Then I turned to face my girls for a response. Nida who was a little suspicious about my plan, she insisted in a challenging way, “Why don’t you go first, you are the tallest after all.”

 That was fair enough so I agreed with enthusiasm; I was like Bring It On! Both my girls helped me climb the wall and jump into the school building.

Foolish mistake here was I should have added the 3 feet height of the wall into the 5 feet below it, making it a total of 8 feet. The jump gave me rashes but it didn’t matter, my team was happy and so was I. Once inside the school territory I watched all my cousins cheering and appreciating me, I waved back. Just when they calmed down I heard a sound behind me. Before I could think straight I heard an abrupt shriek from above, “I can hear footsteps climb back up now!” It was Zaib.

I replied relentlessly, “Ok calm down, I’m coming.”

It was then when I figured there was no way to climb back up.

“Just pull me up guys!” I yelled back, the ease in my tone has disappeared somehow.

 I stepped on a brick still my buddies could hardly reach my hands. Just when they started pulling I tripped over the brick. I quickly stepped back again displaying perseverance and tried to reach for their hands. Perseverance and tolerance is what it takes to become a great leader. 

Sadly this was not getting me anywhere as it became more of a tug-of-war. I realized there was no way I could ever climb up a flat wall. Yes this was the other side of the story. I looked at Zaib with intense anxiety on my face and said almost in a whisper “I can’t, there’s no way back!”

Zaib my childhood buddy did the most unexpected thing; she fell down on the floor laughing. She was laughing so hard rolling on the floor holding her stomach. She was out of sight but I could hear her laughter, crazier than that I started to laugh too. Zohaib joined us.

As it appeared Nida was the only sane person there, maybe because she was new to such circumstances. So she kept pulling me by my hands with deep panic set on her face. She realized the seriousness of it and how much trouble we could get in from here.

Nida was pulling me up and an eleven year old boy who didn’t make much of a difference. This was ridiculous, we needed Zaib’s help. All I could see from down there was Nida shouting down at Zaib, who was lying on the floor laughing. 

Zaib managed to rise up with tears in her eyes and started to help still laughing. The sun was up and we noticed a man walking on the road could clearly see all this fuss.

“Oh great we make the best awkward moment of this year” I muttered in frustration. Hanging in there I saw this man hiding his smile. “Just pretend you live in that School and right now shaking hands with your neighbors” said Nida. At this they both busted in to laughter and Zaib went out of sight again… 

“Oh Come on! Can you not hold it for a while so that we can help her!” I heard Nida shouting at Zaib. It was so messed up how do I get myself into situations like these? I thought to myself.

Few minutes later Zaib appeared again and started to help. We didn't have much time left then. Fortunately they somehow managed to help me climb up which I still wonder how. Was it them or was it my unleashed art of climbing up flat walls? Both ways it was amazing!

Phew! Once on the safe land we all fell down out of exhaustion and then followed laughter. I slapped Zaib on her head for her stupidity.  “I’m in the middle of a nightmare and all you do is laugh?” I demanded laughing.

“Oh the look on your face when you said it” Zaib cried out laud, all three of them laughed harder.

This is my wonderful team who taught me all I needed to learn about teamwork and leadership. The most amazing things in life are learned in the most astonishing ways.

Rebuild

Sometimes we find ourselves living so many different lives at the same time. For myself I can say I have lived many fairytales. Funny how none of them had a happy ending but still there is no end to it. When you lose track of what’s real and what’s not, just remember there is not much difference. In this life the most real things would end like a dream, whereas most ridiculous dreams might turn into grave realities. The good part is nothing will stay the same.  It’s versatile; it keeps changing from one form to another.

Change is good. It helps you learn, understand and see more than you ever did. Guides you to discover yourself and what you desire to be. No matter how rough and despised but allows you endless possibilities simultaneously. It grows you to be countless different versions of yourself. You become this unpredictable person who knows more and trusts less. The one who holds several little parts of failures and heartbreaks weaved into one unmatched personality. It breaks you down, only to build a better you again.

A Gentleman

Three heavy handbags filled with the world best cosmetics and skincare products, two baskets filled with groceries. Now my friend Sidra and I had to grab some snacks for the long drive home. The store was packed with customers, busy and noisy as always. 

Purchasing cosmetics isn't child’s play; trust me it’s more like a war. You go to buy your favorite brands with carefully selected items but the salesgirl convinces you to buy something entirely different. Sweet talk suddenly turns into a battlefield between holding your grounds or to change your beliefs.

However after a long while we returned as victorious warriors who were terribly exhausted and extremely hungry. We were rushing to the cash counter, seconds later we found ourselves facing enormous rows of chilled drinks.

I picked Nescafe Coffee Can as usual while Sidra picked a cold drink. I asked her about chocolates but she persisted on chips instead. So I picked my favorite chips pack effortlessly. Oh why on earth someone would prefer chips over chocolates and how come I followed? See how tired I must have been.

I was loaded up with so much stuff that the only option left was to walk towards the counter but I waited for Sidra. She on the other hand couldn't even find her favorite chips pack.

Right opposite to the chips shelves was a guy standing, maybe for promotion of a brand I guess. Although I doubt that as he was standing in open space. Just a random guy with average looks, in his mid twenties. Not wearing a uniform so definitely he wasn't an employee of the store. Nor was he a customer because customers don’t come in a three piece suits acting like a gentleman, standing in the same place doing nothing but smiling. That was different.

When Sidra asked me to search for her favorite flavor, surprisingly this guy quickly steps forward pointing at the chips she required. Since Sidra couldn’t even reach for it she asked him to hand it over to her. This man in black suit quickly steps back. We both girls looked at him in plain shock. My friend repeated her request this time more politely to help her get the chips.

He shortly replied shrugging his shoulders, “Pick it up.”

His tone was polite yet it sounded so harsh to me. I gave him a straight face look and he grinned in response as if we were kidding.

Looked around; there was no one nearby who could have helped. This store is always overcrowded, but unfortunately this part of the store is mostly deserted.

So I raced to the nearest cash counter leaving Sidra right there, dropped all my stuff at the idle counter and hurried back to help my friend. I came back to find her in a crazy position.

She looked like a greedy Baby Monster attacking on chips shelves but kind of stuck up in between. Right next to her stood this gentleman in black suit smiling cheaply at her helplessness. Ignoring the guy, I stopped her and grabbed two chips packs then helped her to the counter.

When we are safe and sound standing at the counter I asked her again in a shocking tone,

“He didn't help?”

She vigorously shook her head in negative. We both turned to look back at where he was standing. He was still there looking at us with the same smirk set on his face. I gave him one last glare at which he shyly lowered his eyes still smiling.

No matter what the reason may be but he should have helped. I mean what kind of a person would not have? If he couldn't help or was so unconcerned why did he show his concern in the first place? Big Mistake! Guys who don’t intend to help tired ladies at shopping malls should just stay away.

I learned two lessons that day; one: Not everyone who dresses like a gentleman is a gentleman. Two: No matter how tired you are, NEVER forget to grab a Chocolate bar! =)

Falling in LOVE...

I stand on top of the skyscraper like a superhero when I take the fall. Falling in love is exactly like falling from a highest building. I immerse in those glistening silver clouds; the soft smooth winds make me float like a carefree eagle. The comforting breeze runs through me as if I am transparent.  It generates an intense feeling of happiness, the type of happiness only a child get. It is innocent, naive and pure in nature. On the contrary it is not ephemeral but rather infinite and continuous. Your tremendous care makes me believe the whole world is deeply in love with me. Little by little each day this abundant concern and attention will bloom and nurture our love.

Suddenly the weightlessness starts to fade unexpectedly; as some heavy burdens begins to weigh us down. These depressing forces are all the little fights, the doubts, and the unsolved problems. Most crucial constituent of it are our fears. This massive outrageous negativity begins to burn the wings of the angel.

When we got low enough, lost our wings then gravity started its work. The gravity being the hurdles and crisis we face in love. This gravity pulls me down to earth so fast while I was still quite unaware of the outcomes. It grew stronger each passing day and dragged me down faster. In the end all I could do was to give up and obey.

Shortly I hit the ground. I hit the ground so hard that I don’t find myself in one piece. My soul is crushed and shattered in little pieces scattered all over the place. The ground I lay on is black and deserted. It is unusually quiet; deaf, dumb, blind and senseless. It ends here.

Maybe someday I will get strength enough to take this fall again. Till then I lie here numb. The good part is true love only grows you even if it leaves you. True love ignites the light in you forever, it never destroys. If you are ready to take the falls watch for these mistakes. Remember to stay weightless, and keep flying. True love is extremely rare these days; once you find it don’t lose it.

Happy without the Undo Button?

I have seen people regret for a lifetime saying things like only if I had done that… or Only If I could go back … ending into enormous frustrations and helplessness. How pathetic is to look at a strong built man who is capable of achieving anything and everything in life, holding on to regrets of the past and breaks down in tears every single day. You watch this person destroying himself and everyone around him.

Mistakes small or big can be turned into long-term regrets for the rest of our lives. When people start believing they can go back to redo it all over again, just the thought of it can be so painful and frustrating. All their lives they try to go back in time and correct their mistakes. Although amazingly captivating thought but unachievable and disastrous obsession. The only Rule to hold on tight is; no matter how hard it is to swallow, there is NO GOING BACK! Relax I have a better solution. Read on to find out.

I will not tell you to stop thinking about your past.  Since it is impossible not to.  It is human nature you just can’t stop these dramatic ‘Flash backs’. They are constant unavoidable attacks. All you have to learn is to fight against them.

Let’s move on to the solution:

Step One: Mistake is your Teacher

First thing is to understand that you are less a product of what you learnt at school and more of what your mistakes have thought you. Consciously or unconsciously mistakes and their lessons would affect your perception and understanding of the worlds. Your ability to think is also influenced. The lessons you have learned from your mistakes might never be clear but even a vague picture of it would be enough to change your personality. For instance how you see the world today is completely different from how you saw it a few years back. Hence mistakes help us grow.

Step Two: Forgive Yourself

This is easily said but a little hard to achieve. It requires your complete dedication and perseverance. First you have to understand what it actually means. Forgiving oneself would mean to forget you regrets. Remember only the lesson learnt but forget the pain and regrets that came along.  Start focusing on the bright side of your past. Yes there is always a bright side; your past had one too. Keep holding on to pleasant moments such as watching your dreams come true. Focus on all past accomplishments and achievements of life.  

Sometimes we fear to let go of our past because it seems it might kill a part of us. Since we are so well weaved into the past memories that letting them go appears unendurable. On the contrary no matter how real they may feel, at the end of the day they are just memories. Holding on the regrets of past means wasting your present; eventually leading to more regrets in future. Learn to break this cycle; and remember no one else can do it for you.

Present is what matters and present is beautiful. By holding on your past you are not only punishing yourselves but everyone around you. Your loved ones don’t deserve it. Most importantly you don’t deserve it.

The only essential person whose forgiveness you are seeking is you yourself. Let today be the day in the book of your life when you forgive yourself. Guaranteed it would instantly make you feel lighter, happier and incredibly amazing.

Step Three: Celebrate!

Life is a collection of great achievements, rewards and successes. You are the winner here only if you’d believe. Life is rejoicing love of your loved ones and loving them back. You are the sunshine, the warmth, the reason for their smiles. Therefore your happiness, smiles and shine is what they deserve, and so is what you deserve. Life is beautiful, short and precious. Celebrate every second of it while you can. 

My Superhero

It’s the story of the hard times of my life and how I made it through. It all started in 2008 when my sister got married and flew to a far away city. After she left, my brother found a job out of city and so he too moved to another place. You might me thinking is that bad? No that was just the beginning; it was the year of people leaving me for some reason or other. Just when I actually started to enjoy having no siblings bossing around for cleaning my room, and doing no chores; my best friend left me. His sister who was my best childhood friend never came by since then.

That’s not all,  while I was too busy fixing things and dealing with this trauma I missed the last date of admissions in the university, which meant I would have to wait for another 12 months. This only added to my grief, I had nothing to do. I was the biggest loser on this planet, watching my friends getting too busy in their perfect lives that they hardly had time to text me back. While I sit there in my room with pathetic present, no career, nowhere to go and no one to talk to about the hell I was going through…

For some reason this depression grew so huge that I gave up my fun filled creative hobbies. I couldn’t draw or paint or write, couldn’t eat right or get any sleep at all. Loneliness is a worst nightmare.

Among all this craziness around me, my sister’s friend came by one day and told me she found a poor kitten and doesn’t have any place to keep it. I agreed on taking care of the kitten as I had nothing else to do back those days. The kitten was cute as they always are. It was white and brown I wanted to name him but I found he already bears a strange name, Timmy. To make him feel homely I called him by the same name.

Timmy changed everything starting from my wakeup timings. I would wake up early morning at 7 am for Timmy was a morning cat. After breakfast he used to play a lot. He was so energetic and playful kitten I have ever seen. So we became friends, I knew his language he knew I needed his company. He would wear the soft neck bands I made, shake hands, and even dance for me, following me into the house and everywhere. Not just that sweet feeling of his company but all those fun activities that made me forget everything. Activities like giving Timmy a bath, this was my favorite although my mom and Timmy hated it.

After a warm bath I would pick him up in both hands and hug my little kitty. Then lay him in his cute basket bed that I made. I remember how he loved drying in the sun; he would cuddle up like a ball in the bed. While I play the caring mother just sitting there watching him fall asleep.

Besides that basket bed Timmy discovered anther bed, a cooking pan! I have no idea how... Timmy was fearless; he would enter through a window, walk past my father and run straight into the kitchen to jump into the empty pan. No rush even though he could sense my panicked father running after him into the kitchen. For me it was just plain fun running after a cute kitten all day long.

Strange how time flies when your days are filled with joy and happiness. Days turned into weeks and then months, when I look back I hardly remember it being more than a month. Somehow things at home started to get better. I wasn’t a loner anymore I had Timmy and fortunately my brother came back home.

Later that month I got admission in the university of my choice. The day I stepped into the university I met some amazing friends and great teachers; who are all there to support and appreciate me.

 Second great news was my brother was getting married and we had to fly to our native City for the wedding. There all other family members were desperately awaiting our arrival. On the other hand it sadly meant there would be no one here to look after Timmy.  So reluctantly I returned Timmy back, as suggested by my mother and told the caretaker to pass it on to someone who needs him more than I do now.

Timmy was not just a distraction for me but much more than that. Somehow that kitten was my reason to make through just another day. Making me stronger each day of that rough year. I started to become less stressed and more flexible with forgiving people. Now I could understand if my friends never had time to talk, I never had time to hold it against them. I got too busy taking care of the kitten, like giving Timmy a bath, or searching about kittens on internet. It gave me a new perception for life I never knew something as simple as a cat could make me feel so better when time was hard on me. I had someone special to be happy about when I had nothing at all. There is always something in life to hold on to, just keep that sweet thing close to you and you’ll make it through. 

Help me Paint...!

Today I got an urge to paint so excitedly I sat on the floor with my paints and canvas. Surprisingly I could not decide on what colors to pick. Usually the color is your picture depends on your feelings. The problem arises when you can’t decide what state of mind you are in right now.

I broke it down in parts to simplify my selection. It is not happy so we avoid all the bright happy colors but neither is it sad so forget about all the grays and dull colors. This feeling is something in between numbness and excitement. All feelings were laid down on the table but still very hard to put my finger on it.

The type of feeling you get when you find something you wanted so badly but you only found it when you don’t need it anymore. Making it too difficult to decide how you feel about it now.

Either to celebrate that you finally found what you’ve longed for all your life or to throw it away since you don’t need it anymore. It can’t get any worse so you just don’t care. You don’t care about this desperately yearned thing. You don’t even care about how you feel for it. All you feel is this strange type of numbness mixed with happiness and frustration in the same proportion. 

I sat there completely lost in thoughts for a while. Until all these colors started laughing at my helplessness. I slowly picked up my colors and sluggishly walked towards the table. Carelessly threw the canvas on the table and dropped all colors in the drawer. Then I shut the drawer and walked out of the room.