Friday, 8 January 2016
Stop Messing Up Your Kids
When I was 6 years old my mum and aunt told me if I pray for a brother I’ll be blessed with one. They made it an after school ritual for me. After ‘Salam’ and throwing my bag away, next came praying and crying to for a baby brother.
Few weeks later I came home and there was GOOD NEWS! They told me now I have a baby brother! We excitedly went to the place where angels distribute babies. To my disappointment it turns out that my baby brother is my aunt’s new born. Before I could question anything, they told me, “He is your brother, it’s just angels accidentally gave him to your aunt.”
It might have made me happy at that age, but with time this lie started to mess things up for me. I mean for more than half of my life I believed with conviction that angels made a mistake! Not only that, to defend this lie I would fight with his siblings. Besides I was the one who asked ALLAH for him in the first place!
I would go check on him in kindergarten every day. The entire school believed Zafar is my brother and Zaib’s cousin, when it was the opposite. All of my time was spent with my little brother every single day of his childhood. In return naturally the kid started to stick with me, his Aapa, more than with anybody else.
Nothing mattered until my aunt had to move out of town. What if it happened during my childhood? Wouldn’t the outcomes have been worse?
We don’t realize how the aftereffects of one stupid lies could be crippling and devastating. A part of your child would always stay stuck in it, disturbing their ability to deal with facts.
Parents and adults see lies as an easy way out. Anything that is not true may block pain for a short-period but that short-period would keep distorting the reality forever. This damage is continuous and it could be avoided if you care to explain things. When kids start to demand reasons they are at the age to learn to deal with truth and realities of life.
Parents are mostly the first people a kid trust wholeheartedly, don’t sabotage this beautiful faith they hold in you.