Monday, 30 December 2013
After a long boring class of philosophy I and all my friends gathered as usual at our favorite spot. My friends got busy sharing jokes and laughing about something when one of my friends called my name. I realized I wasn’t very attentive and they were concerned. Somehow I found myself still stuck in the lecture of philosophy.
All the laughs died instantly and everyone was staring at me now. With a little hesitation I asked what do they think about this philosophy class?
At which Haris said carelessly, “Philosophers are mad, how can one define happiness?” Everyone else chuckled and shouted excitedly in agreement.
“What is happiness?” I quickly added looking very serious and staring back at him. There was a small pause as the noise died once again. It became an entirely dramatic moment.
Haris smiled brightly and said “Football.” I liked his clear mindedness and that he was very specific. He also didn’t take much time to think which was also appreciable.
I nodded pleasantly and asked the same question to the person sitting next to him. We were sitting in a circle so it was easy to get all the attention I needed.
I asked them to be quick and to give one word answers. They all started to answer whatever came to their minds on hearing the word happiness. The game raised their interest level and everyone got excited to contribute.
Some said success, love, care, work and the like. The circle ended and I had a lot of different answers and information to assess. I wanted to work on the difference between what people think happiness is and what actually happiness is. Before I could do so, one of my friends asked me back, “What is happiness?”
I wasn’t expecting this so I stopped to think. How come I didn’t see this coming? Laud hooting began since I was taking time to think. They all started shouting in objections, and reminding me the rules of the game. I grinned at their objections and immediately shouted back “FRIENDS!” That was truly the first word that came to my mind as the definition for happiness.
There was again a long but comfortable pause and this time all my friends were smiling back at me cheerfully.
This topic interested me so much that I went on asking many people to define happiness. After a long period of personal interviews of random people I have found no one knows what happiness actually is.
Happiness is not a feeling it’s an energy. Happiness is the light, the hope, the energy that illuminates you. No one can be the reason enough for your happiness except you yourself. There is no other reason for your happiness.
The demon is always an outsider, don’t let it enter and dull your light. Only you can throw this demon out who sits there and laughs at you. Making you believe that it will stay with you permanently. The only thing that is permanent in you is the light. This light is there inside you and it’s been there all along. This light is strong and bright beyond your imaginations. Recognize the light in you today, and let it take you higher for the rest of your life. On one else can do it for you. The happiness is you yourself.
Monday, 9 December 2013
It was beautiful summer twilight; Saba and I were having a great time up stairs on the roof of my house. We were having good laughs about funny moments of our childhood days. My friend Saba had decided to stay at my place which clearly meant great party till the morning light.
The roof has medium size walls around it. We were sitting on the wood bench that two little girls built themselves. We still are proud of it and love it. As it started to grow darker we walked towards the door to go downstairs but the cool breeze convinced us to stay a while longer. So we walked towards the front side of the house.
I was telling her about my recent writings when she interrupted me and pointed towards my neighbors house. “Look at those kids playing as mother watches them” she said smiling to herself.
Looking at the pointed direction I said “Where?” I had no idea what she was talking about.
Saba went on still smiling “What a pleasant sight, these kids are having fun and their mother is smiling with satisfaction.”
“OK enough of your stupid pranks” I said laughing.
She paused and gave me a confused look then said “These kids right there under those yellow lights.”
She was so convincing that now I knew something was terribly wrong. The first thought that hit my mind with a chill running through me was a question. I asked her almost in a whisper, “Are they looking back at us?”
She said with a giggle, “Not yet but they might if I keep staring"
“Don’t stare!” I cried.
She looked at me this time more shocked than confused.
I reached for her hands looking into my friends’ eyes I whispered “Saba this house has been deserted for ages and I still don’t see any signs of life there”
Her smile faded and I watched her turn pale. Her hands got colder. I held her hands tighter and told her not to panic. Any attention from the inhabitants of that house would be the least desired thing I thought to myself.
Slowly walking towards the door and came downstairs like thing happened.
We settled in my room but Saba was still dumbfounded. There fell a very long awkward silence between us.
I had never seen her this way so yeah it kind of freaked me out. I tried to make her laugh but she wasn't paying much attention. In spite of my worthless attempts to make her laugh this girl was unappreciative. I gave up and asked her to speak her mind out. Still lost in thoughts she sat there like a dead person.
I got so frustrated that I shook her hard like waking her up from deep sleep shouting “You were the bravest one. The one who could watch three horror movies in a row and still would sleep soundly at night!”
She laughed aloud and asked “So you still don’t watch horror movies? “
I shook my head smiling at her finally relived. She gave me a questioning glance as if demanding more explanation.
I hesitated a moment then sniffed saying, “Why watch horror movies on TV when you can watch the exclusively explicit horror motion picture during your sleep?”
I thought the topic has changed and now we could enjoy the rest of the night watching movies and eating pasta like always. I thought wrong.
“Still lucky you can’t see phantoms running around in haunted houses having a good time” Saba taunted with a reckless smile.
Right then I got a strong urge to tell her all the unusual things I have ever experienced. On second thought if I tell her all those true stories she might change her mind of staying the night here.
Well then let it pass I thought.
“To some extend everyone can sense things. A lot more things than we can understand or explain. We deny it because of the confusion that comes along. Mind does not accept or believe things that it cannot understand. We just have to admit that these things are there around us all the time…..” I stopped in the middle my sentence.
Somehow Saba found it scarier and started to pack her things running around like a mad person. It was supposed to be a friendly advice to soothe her down. This was the least expected reaction; for a second I didn't know how to response. I stood there watching her with confusion and great disappointment on my face.
I had to run a little to catch her and give her another shake, “You are not going anywhere before I finish, do you get me?!”
Before I could scold her more on her childish behavior she hugged me tight. I hugged back.
And this is what I whispered in her ear:
“Every coin has two sides. Yes there are negative energies but there are positive energies too. The more you think about demons the more it would take over your head. Have faith on angels too and make your positive energies stronger. Only YOU can do it”
Saba nodded still holding me tight. I knew she was smiling and finally relaxed.
“You are my angel.” She whispered back making me giggle.
We were again the two little adventurous girls. The rest of the night was spent in laughter and giggles just like old times.
Sunday, 1 December 2013
It feels like a heavy burden placed on my chest. Feels like my ribs are crushed together from all sides. It hurts so much and it’s so real. This feeling rapidly builds up severe pain in the center of my rib cage. My heart can’t take it anymore. Still I can’t show it, can’t express it, and can’t let it out. The expression would only leave me vulnerable. Besides I know what the reaction would be so I fight to hold it in. I try concealing despite it starts to eat my insides. Changing from deep affection to intense pain and then turning into uncontrollable rage. No matter what it becomes but this impression isn't going anywhere. It stays right there, only weakening my control over it. Now all my efforts are invested in taming this unexpected rage. This rage starts to rise up to appear on my face. Heating it up and bring it. My eyes can’t take the heat thus hot tears starts to stream down my face. Crying feels so good that I won’t stop crying my heart out. Looks like I finally found a way to express it.