Wednesday, 22 January 2014
Help me Paint...!
Today I got an urge to paint so excitedly I sat on the floor with my paints and canvas. Surprisingly I could not decide on what colors to pick. Usually the color is your picture depends on your feelings. The problem arises when you can’t decide what state of mind you are in right now.
I broke it down in parts to simplify my selection. It is not happy so we avoid all the bright happy colors but neither is it sad so forget about all the grays and dull colors. This feeling is something in between numbness and excitement. All feelings were laid down on the table but still very hard to put my finger on it.
The type of feeling you get when you find something you wanted so badly but you only found it when you don’t need it anymore. Making it too difficult to decide how you feel about it now.
Either to celebrate that you finally found what you’ve longed for all your life or to throw it away since you don’t need it anymore. It can’t get any worse so you just don’t care. You don’t care about this desperately yearned thing. You don’t even care about how you feel for it. All you feel is this strange type of numbness mixed with happiness and frustration in the same proportion.
I sat there completely lost in thoughts for a while. Until all these colors started laughing at my helplessness. I slowly picked up my colors and sluggishly walked towards the table. Carelessly threw the canvas on the table and dropped all colors in the drawer. Then I shut the drawer and walked out of the room.