Tuesday, 28 January 2014
Happy without the Undo Button?
I have seen people regret for a lifetime saying things like only if I had done that… or Only If I could go back … ending into enormous frustrations and helplessness. How pathetic is to look at a strong built man who is capable of achieving anything and everything in life, holding on to regrets of the past and breaks down in tears every single day. You watch this person destroying himself and everyone around him.
Mistakes small or big can be turned into long-term regrets for the rest of our lives. When people start believing they can go back to redo it all over again, just the thought of it can be so painful and frustrating. All their lives they try to go back in time and correct their mistakes. Although amazingly captivating thought but unachievable and disastrous obsession. The only Rule to hold on tight is; no matter how hard it is to swallow, there is NO GOING BACK! Relax I have a better solution. Read on to find out.
I will not tell you to stop thinking about your past. Since it is impossible not to. It is human nature you just can’t stop these dramatic ‘Flash backs’. They are constant unavoidable attacks. All you have to learn is to fight against them.
Let’s move on to the solution:
Step One: Mistake is your Teacher
First thing is to understand that you are less a product of what you learnt at school and more of what your mistakes have thought you. Consciously or unconsciously mistakes and their lessons would affect your perception and understanding of the worlds. Your ability to think is also influenced. The lessons you have learned from your mistakes might never be clear but even a vague picture of it would be enough to change your personality. For instance how you see the world today is completely different from how you saw it a few years back. Hence mistakes help us grow.
Step Two: Forgive Yourself
This is easily said but a little hard to achieve. It requires your complete dedication and perseverance. First you have to understand what it actually means. Forgiving oneself would mean to forget you regrets. Remember only the lesson learnt but forget the pain and regrets that came along. Start focusing on the bright side of your past. Yes there is always a bright side; your past had one too. Keep holding on to pleasant moments such as watching your dreams come true. Focus on all past accomplishments and achievements of life.
Sometimes we fear to let go of our past because it seems it might kill a part of us. Since we are so well weaved into the past memories that letting them go appears unendurable. On the contrary no matter how real they may feel, at the end of the day they are just memories. Holding on the regrets of past means wasting your present; eventually leading to more regrets in future. Learn to break this cycle; and remember no one else can do it for you.
Present is what matters and present is beautiful. By holding on your past you are not only punishing yourselves but everyone around you. Your loved ones don’t deserve it. Most importantly you don’t deserve it.
The only essential person whose forgiveness you are seeking is you yourself. Let today be the day in the book of your life when you forgive yourself. Guaranteed it would instantly make you feel lighter, happier and incredibly amazing.
Step Three: Celebrate!
Life is a collection of great achievements, rewards and successes. You are the winner here only if you’d believe. Life is rejoicing love of your loved ones and loving them back. You are the sunshine, the warmth, the reason for their smiles. Therefore your happiness, smiles and shine is what they deserve, and so is what you deserve. Life is beautiful, short and precious. Celebrate every second of it while you can.