Stranger: The Hardest Transition

On meeting a stranger we start the struggle to know them better in the shortest period possible. Mostly and surely we make a lot of mistakes in this desperate urge-to-know-well phase. Later blaming it on them thinking they used to wear a mask. Or simply the famous “YOU HAVE CHANGED”.

The thing is human is complex stuff, you can’t just built the entire persona of anyone in weeks or months. People you read like a book sometimes don’t even know who they themselves are. I mean, I had a very nice friend who told me he’s an environmentalist. Two years later on the profile I find he is a photographer, too? His excuse, ‘You never asked’.  I mean seriously? Was I supposed to take every profession that exist and ask randomly?

Yes, guys don’t open up easily but hiding stuff is different ... and nasty. Well it goes for both genders. It takes time and effort, especially when it comes to get-to-know another person. There will always be so many pieces of the puzzle missing on the image you hold in your mind. And in the attempt to complete this mysterious image we start to sew in, our self-desired patches to this person’s personality. Man by nature hates ‘the unknown’ no matter what form we may encounter it in. This explains the frustrating hard work and scarifies we make for communication with new friends, or new ‘Whoever’ (Ahem…).

On the darker side: Taking for granted the old ones. Fortunately we aren’t discussing any sob stories here today, so get it over with “Old Friends”.

My point is, it’s not a curse to have some missing patches, consider it a blessing. Predictable is boring, be grateful if you know someone who never cease to surprise you. We can never do justice to a person when it comes to understanding or appreciating them. Drop whatever you assume adding to that picture. For what they hold in them would always be more beautiful. Reality would always win over any realms of fantasy. Cherish your mysterious new buddies just the way they are.

Aren't you tired of playing the Superhero?

Has it ever happened to you that one person makes you feel like you are super natural? As if you have this invincible power of healing and inspiration. They stick with you and open up to you like no one else. They share the darkest of their endless night and you began to unweave them from it. Soon it becomes your foremost responsibility. All this hard work starts to pay when you see them grow and glow like never before.

The more they wrap around you like a parasitic plant. That’s okay though, you are intoxicated with that noble feeling. This so called NOBLE act becomes the entire purpose of your existence. When they text, call or try to reach you, you feel indebted to respond.

Now that nights have turned to brighter days, you feel blessed to see this is all your sunshine that gleams far and wide. Then there comes a day when the night falls on your end. You start to crave someone who would listen, and believe you are as human as they are. Or maybe return the one-fourth part of what you give? Sadly you cannot suddenly tax something that has been free for all these years.

The truth is out for all to see, yet you kick the leftovers of your ego aside and keep doing your thing. You play the shrink when you need one for yourself lately. Why? For they give you a beautiful meaning to your life, make you feel you can fix things. Or maybe this is LOVE for they make you a better person.

And one day you happily text your one and only reason for living and ZAP! They are gone. GONE! On the bigger picture it is for the best. Unfortunately you only see the rooms get exceedingly darker. Everyone seems to be yelling at you. Nothing makes sense anymore. Routine becomes Robotic and life feels like being thrown in a cactus field every day.

Nope, it never happened to me.

Creative people have this unyielding need to fix things. And it starts to become more of curse when this madness exceeds to ‘Fixing People’. Just the idea to play the superhero and saving life is infatuation enough. What we lack to understand is there are people who enjoy sadness, moaning and living in their pasts. It is who they are; they pity themselves and seek it in others for survival. Yeah I can’t deny the highest level of CUTENESS factor in these people though. Unfortunately it adds to the need to be their cured and pampered. It’s about time you stop fixing them since no one can play the healer. There is only one HEALER, and He heals best. Let your Creator do His job. 

Loca for a new language!

Hola! Como esta? Bien. Y tu? Adios!

There you have my life’s hard work for this language. It all started back when our older cousin challenged us to sing a Spanish song as fluent as any BSB Song. It took us two days to write that Spanish song for we kids were to naive to Google lyrics. Hence we had to invent our own Spanish that would sound exactly like Ricky Martin’s. Now when I look back I wonder why we went through all that trouble. How annoying aggressive kids we would have been. In a week we learned the entire song by heart. And that’s where we began to enjoy the taste of Espanol.

Most of the famous international songs had pretty inappropriate lyrics. However it was Spanish and that’s all we cared about as kids. We’d write and memorize these songs as a fun hobby. Only now after so many years I actually understand that highly embarrassing gibberish.

How insulting it is when Natives translate a language you already know. Now I get enraged when people translate Spanish and more enraged when I fail to ketchup with their Spanish-ness!

Here is the golden advice I’d like to share. One of my sagacious English Teacher used to say, whoever wants to learn a new language should listen to songs in that language. This works magically for good songs have good vocabulary. Also the repetition of that song helps our minds to remember and interpret words faster. Loca for Pablo Alboran, well he teach me Spanish, plus he is umm... cute?  

Now that I can understand Spanish. Oh who am I kidding? But hey! It is not impossible. Even if it's ENGLISH or whatever language you are struggling with, be patient and keep going. No class or school can make you fluent and feed you with prodigious vocabulary. The only profound way is to create an environment around you that helps you a bit each day. The media, TV, radio, music, internet everything should be in that remote language. 

Besides that, try to find just one person who can help. Whether they are the native speaker or just another pathetic endeavor like you, would assist a great deal. They keep you motivated when you start to run low on your fuel and destination is still blur. 

It doesn't have to be stressful at all. Enjoy and live every word of it. Speak it with people around you even if they throw you weird looks. During my vacations I got so deeply indulged into it that I started to see NIGHTMARES in Spanish! My mother wakes me up for Fajar payer and she’s yelling at me in Espanol! Then I’d decide to take a day’s break to get my sanity back. Until that happens to you, go Coo-Coo for your Favorite Language!

Use Filter for Cartoons too

Before you proceed, I believe every language has it's beauty. This article isn't against any culture or language, it's strictly about education of Muslim kids. 

It was another cheerful Iftar party and everyone was dressed nicely. I was surrounded by excited kids as usual. Seeking a way out when my 7 year old cousin pulls me down and asks, “Aapa me sundar lag rahi hon?” A loud and clear THUNDERSTORM fell on my ears along with it. I repeat to hear the correction “SUNDAR?” but instead of translating she just nods. I was so furious that I could hit her with that Pakora in my hand.

Holding tight on her tiny shoulders, as if I’m trying to bring her back to her URDU senses. My next question was obviously to find the source and she goes giggling, “BARBIE CARTOON”.  Or precisely she meant HINDI translated Barbie cartoons!

In case you think I’m being too melodramatic, it does not stop there. Cartoons they watch are translated in Hindi. Additionally they are watching cartoons tailor-made of Non-Muslims kids. Like who is this “Chota Peem? Meam? Neam?” or whatever the name is. And why the heck parents are buying kids the “Chota Leem” chips in Pakistan!

This Hindi-fever penetration in Pakistan has become unavoidable.  However it’s profusely convenient to blame the parents alone. Blaming mothers in particular for everything wrong with the kids. Parents have to run the house too; they can’t be around kids all the time. Neither do they have any control over what kids learn from their friends at school. Well there is no "mea culpa!" in such horrendous predicament.

On the other end, why don’t the authorities take some actions against it? I mean there was uproar for those “Never-ending-Saas-Baho-serials”. They were despised, avoided, later blocked and banned entirely. In turn Pakistani Urdu soaps were encouraged and cherished. What about cartoons which hold such vital audience? Not just ban this “chinoti, pooch, sundar” but encourage something better.

We desperately need tailor-made cartoons for Muslim kids. There is colossal talent in Pakistan Ma Sha Allah, we just need to appreciate it more. Till then please watch what you expose your kids to, even if it’s just a Chips pack.

What Kids know about Ramadan?

I asked two kids of different age groups to share their views about this month. And I was amazed by what they wrote. Enjoy refreshing perspectives of kids about Ramadan:

Age: 12

Class: 6

What do you like about Ramadan?

The thing about Ramadan I like is that in this month we all human beings stay close to each other. We avoid fights and abusive language to make our Allah happy. We fast also to make our God happy. When children fast first time in their life their parents do Roza Kushai they give them gifts to make them happy. Their parents are also happy that their son or daughter fast first time. We pray to Allah and say sorry to him for our bad deeds we did in our whole life. I like Ramadan because at this time we all are close to our Allah and we pray to Him in every namaz.

We all wake up at the time of Sehri, and then we eat food. After that our fast starts and our fast finishes at the time of Maghrib and our Iftari starts. Till the end of Ramadan we all do Sehri , Iftari and fast. In Ramadan we also give Iftari to poor people and we also invite our relatives to Iftar. At the end when the month of Ramadan is finished we all get a gift from Allah and that gift is Eid-ul-Fihter. On Eid we can eat everything we like. Everyone meet each other and this month comes again and again that’s why we should always say thanks to Allah that He gave us Eid.

Age: 8

Class: 2

What do you like about Ramadan?

I like Ramadan because the people do good work. People do not fight in Ramadan. We all pray to Allah. Men go to Mosque and pray Taraweeh and women pray in home. My mother cooks in Ramadan and I help my mother. We pray to Allah and sorry for our bad things we did. We all wake up at the time of sehri. Allah gives us gift of Eid because we fast for Him to make Him happy. 

Put that Phone Down!

Finally hit bed with a constant pain in my shins, worn out to the breaking point. The burned chocolate cake on my right still somehow serves as immense condolence. You know life has changed when this friend you grew up with leaves you hanging on a stranger’s call. She was invited to share old good times. Yes it was hurtful for I had seen her after a very, very, VERY long time. Only to find I was not worth hanging up that endless 2 hours long phone call. I don’t hate the person who invented the mobile phones but I do hate the people who are obsessed with them. Nowadays guests visit each other only to talk to whoever is absent.

They say People don’t change. Their personalities only become more obvious with time. Either they get tired of the mask or we start to see clearer.  Honestly both ways we are the ones to be blamed. Our problem is we always expect the same warmth and love from them under all circumstances. We complain a lot about others behaviors. Never understanding what might have led them to it. Even if it’s none of our fault we don’t have a reason to whine about. We know we love them with or without the masks.

Best thing one can do in dilemma like these is: Keep it sweet and simple. Express what behavior you didn't like and why. Be precise and clear. On the other hand try not to be an addition in their stress. It took me a long week to find a way out of this dubious mess. 
I was a little hesitant at first out of her uncertain reaction. Then again holding grudges was never our thing. They are extremely dangerous and destructive to any good old relation. So I told her abruptly that her cellphone is not allowed at my place. At first she laughed and argued about how barbaric it is, and who does that? I laughed along but I knew she’d listen out of love and respect. And she did. 

This is how it goes; life is dynamic and so is everyone connected to it. Take is easy and say what you need to say. Sometimes your loved ones literally wait on it.

Ramadan & June

Ramadan the beautiful month we all look forward to each year. It’s the month with substantial spiritual, religious and cultural significance. However the cruel harsh weather killed most of our excitement on day one. According to the news, Karachi broke its ten years old records of extremely hot temperature. In just one day 106 people died of heat and now the collective number has reached to almost 500!

Fire spitting sun doesn't seem to care much about our fasts. As it releases all its anger mercilessly on us, in turn people are mad at each other until IFTAR time. IFTAR is only time when are charged back with excitement to celebrate again. 
Heat or no heat Ramadan is an eminent blessing for all. I mean are we not loudly indulged in discussions about HOW NOT TO GAIN WEIGHT THIS RAMADAN? Or low fat healthy diet plans? Just finding a delicious way to avoid PAKORAY but end up eating them anyway?

Not just the food but also the same tradition lame jokes of the year. Growing up proved it just won’t go away so I learned to live with it. The joke, “Aren't you supposed to be chained away this month?” Pokerface

Well one should rejoice all colors of life but sadly we become blind to the real purpose of this important month. It’s not about the jokes or the diet or the IFTAR PARTIES. This month is designed as the best training session for humans. Train you to gain control and be your own fiercely compelling managers. It lets you know how appetite is slave to you and not the other way around. To make us see how our spiritual self can dominate our body. It’s a beautiful test each day with an intoxicating sense of freedom.  

Remember the ONE who created you knows how long it would take a human to get rid of a bad habit. And time we need to adopt a good habit. Let’s promise ourselves to leave one bad habit and adopt just one good habit this Ramadan. No matter how small it maybe, like avoiding such bad jokes.

This time we take this training program seriously. And at the end of the month, may we walk out as a better person. Ameen